A local serial burglar was so appalled at what he called one home's "weak-ass spatial coordination" that rather than steal electronics, silverware, and other small valuables as he had planned, he woke the homeowner (a bank executive) and his family, tied them up, gagged them, and made them watch as he spent the entire night rearranging their furniture.

At 5 am, a neighbor woke to take her dogs out. Seeing lights on in the home and a strange, old-model vehicle in the driveway, she dialed 911.

The burglar, Richard Houser, 33, had earned a degree in interior design from a New York City institution but found the field saturated and was forced to return to his hometown and make a living by more creative means. He has been charged with home invasion, five counts of kidnapping, possession of an "uncommon knife" with a blade longer than four inches, and several counts of theft for items found in his pickup truck.

"The true crime here," Houser told police, "is this community's abject disregard for aesthetic harmony." He owes more than $250,000 in student-loan debt.


.

W i g l e a f               01-10-21                                [home]