Dear Wigleaf,

I am going to play ping-pong soon. The last time I played ping-pong I was in fourth grade. I threw my paddle at another child and he screamed even though it did not hit him. Sometimes when small children scream they sound like small children. Last night, I squeezed my roommate's cat until it screamed. Then I gave it some spinach to eat, but it does not like spinach so it did not eat. I think that some people might think I am a bad person. Last fall, I was going to buy a pair of gloves, but then my friend bought the same pair of gloves so I decided not to buy any gloves. This morning my hands were cold. Mother is doing fine. We spoke on the telephone recently. I heard that a kid I went to high school with got his wife pregnant. Two years ago they got married. I went to the ceremony and danced a lot. When I turn forty-five maybe I will marry a twenty-eight-year-old woman and get her pregnant. If you are ten years old then there's a chance I might marry you some day and get you pregnant. Most ten year olds are in fourth grade.



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Read KA's "A Mayonnaise Is Not Brown."

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