I am arrested for excessive partying. The police show me their police dog, who can speak on command. He is very intelligent, and his vocabulary is extensive. He tells me that he has been a police dog for as long as he can remember.

I shoot the shit with the police dog for some time. It becomes clear that the police dog is unhappy with his career, although he does not say so directly.

"Have you considered other professions?" I ask him. "You have marketable skills. You can speak on command. You can read and write and do arithmetic."

"It is easy enough for a young woman like you to consider changing careers," he tells me, "but I am a police dog. A dog's life is short. The life of a police dog, even shorter."

I ask the police dog if he would prefer to live with me, as my dog, during what time he has left. He answers in the negative. I am reminded that I have been arrested for excessive partying, that I am speaking with a police dog.

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