This Would Not Fit on a Bumper Sticker Mathieu Cailler
My son did not make the honor roll at Happy Hills Middle School. He is,
however, "dominating" Call of Duty. My son did secure his first kiss last
week. Monica is her name. I overheard him tell his friend. He said the kiss
was "fire" and "kinda wet." I caught him drinking Chablis on the back porch
the other weekend. He apologized and said he wanted to look cool. I told him
Chablis is not cool, and that I only keep it around for my
step-mother-in-law, Barbara. He says he wants to be a truck driver when he
grows up, because he'll "see a lot of America but not see that many people."
When he was young, I told him that all creatures were beautiful, and soon
after, he tried to pet a bee. He calls me "bro" at least twice a week. He
cries at Pixar films. He tells me to buy protein powder for his muscles. He
still sleeps with his nightlight on, because he says the stars on the
ceiling help him fall asleep faster. He doesn't say he loves me much these
days, but on certain mornings, when he trains early for football, he brews
coffee for me, so it's ready when I wake up. He places a mug with three big
spoonfuls of brown sugar inside it right next to the fresh pot. Sometimes he
leaves a note, too.
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