I saw a man standing at the edge of a roof. I called to him, but he didn't answer. Maybe he didn't hear; it was windy and my voice was soft. I went up the nine flights to join him.

He didn't turn around when I said hello. He said nothing when I asked for his name. I told him my name was Sophie; I don't know why I lied.

I thought about calling the police; he shuffled closer to the edge. I asked him if there was anyone I could call... someone he'd like to hear. I told him I would want to call my mother. I told him how I played her voicemails every night as to not forget the warmth of her voice. Her last message was three years old.

I'd never told this to anyone.

He didn't flinch when I reached for his hand. He didn't grip or pull away. I asked if he'd like to come home with me, my place just a few blocks away. I don't know why I suggested it or why I offered to let him stay. I told him that the couch was free, or that he could take the empty space in my bed. He would fit it nicely.

I joined him on the ledge.

No one walked below. No planes flew overhead. I looked into the vacant sky. If I'd reached out, I could have grazed heaven, I'd have sworn. I could have swirled clouds round my fingers. He continued looking toward the buildings across the street, their windows blinding with sunlight.

We stood there a while longer. I thought about the steps that had brought me to that moment. If I hadn't had toast for breakfast, if I hadn't taken a smoke break, if I hadn't worn brown shoes... would I be there, perched on a ledge with a stranger, our fingers laced?

I don't know how long we stood there, hushed and gazing. It was long enough that the weight of his hand became a comfort, the fulfillment of a nameless want. 

His grip tightened.

"Sophie," he said.

We took the step forward. I wondered what they'd think of us, the ones who'd find our broken bodies hand in hand upon the pavement. Would they think us strangers? A murder-suicide? Lovers?

As the ground neared, I knew they'd be right.

Brianna Johnson's stories have appeared in Cosmonaut's Avenue, Gigantic Sequins, The Molotov Cocktail and others. She lives in Orlando.

Detail of photo on main page courtesy of Reva G.





W i g l e a f               11-16-19                                [home]