Dear Wigleaf,
 
It's midnight and quiet in the house. Everyone else is sleeping and I'm up late working.
 
Why do we live here, Wigleaf? Winter is cold and we are thousands of miles from our families and the landscapes we feel most at home in. When one of my parents is sick or schedules a surgery or a burst pipe causes a flood and they have to live in a motel, I can't just drive an hour or two to help. They see their granddaughters once a year at most. We are all running low on time.
 
It's easy to reach back and worry the past like a bad tooth. How we might have made one different decision and changed everything.
 
Don't get me wrong. This is our home. I drink iced coffee when it's below freezing, and ice cream is a year round treat. Our daughters are growing up here. We keep each other warm.
 
Spring is on its way. Once when I was walking around the pond in the neighborhood park that used to be a landfill, I saw a heron. It walked straight out of the water and across the path, lifted its sharp beak to the sky and squawked. I'd never heard such a thing.
 
Before bed I sit still for a period of time. It's called just sitting. Really. You should try it. I've been doing it for years. When I quit drinking I thought, Now I'll do it even better. I'll be a different person. But it doesn't work like that. You just keep doing it. That's all. And it's enough.
 
Good night,
Wyatt




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