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Boy in a Coma
Roxane Gay
Brandt's twin sister Naomi was in a coma, had been for months, and she
wasn't ever going to come out of the coma. A Dr. Patel informed the family
early on that there was little hope. They stood over Naomi's bed, marveling
at how still she looked. Naomi never sat still, was always moving at a
frantic pace. She liked to get things done and quickly and constantly. Her
husband, Clay, loved to joke that the only time she ever stayed put for more
than a moment was when they exchanged their wedding vows and even then Naomi
hopped from foot to foot while the pastor intoned about love and obeisance
and that which should never do them part.
After the doctor left the room when they found out the gravity of Naomi's
condition, the family—Brandt's parents, Clay, Brandt's wife Brenda, and his
brother Brennan—hovered around Naomi, staring at her lying in a sort of
state, trying to decide what to do. His mother and father argued about what
was best and Clay chewed on the inside of his mouth and wondered how much
time he was expected to spend at the hospital each day and Brennan was bored
and staring at his phone, praying for a text message from his boyfriend.
Brandt slipped out of the room to find Dr. Patel who was at the nurse's
station, leaning against the counter, staring at his cell phone.
Brandt tapped Dr. Patel on the shoulder, leaned in, and whispered, "When you
say there's little hope, just how little are we talking?"
Dr. Patel removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead. "Do you want the
truth?" he asked. Brandt nodded. "There's really no hope," the doctor said
as he put his glasses back on. "If you'll excuse me," he said, and off he
went.
Naomi had been driving to work. She was speeding through traffic, switching
from lane to lane, just trying to get ahead even through Brandt had warned
her, countless times, that the fastest way to get through traffic was to
stay in your lane. She was applying lipstick and changing lanes and talking
on her phone, speaker of course, when she ran into a semi. She had a little
car, a Mazda Miata she called Throwback, and it was mostly crushed, as were
a great many of the bones in Naomi's body. She was in a coma but doctors had
set her damaged bones, those that could be set, in the operating room. Her
bones would heal. The rest of her wouldn't, at least according to Dr. Patel.
When Brandt returned to the room, Clay was looking at his watch. "I better
get home," he said, his face reddening with the shame of someone who rightly
understood he was about to do something wrong but was going to do that wrong
thing anyway.
"Go fuck yourself while you're there," Brandt said and Clay laughed,
awkwardly, his mouth emitting a high-pitched sound, like a hungry little
bird.
Brandt's parents shrugged, but did not look embarrassed which was not
surprising. He had never known them to possess an ounce of shame. "We are
heading out," his father said. "We'll check back in soon, seeing as she's
just lying here."
"Are you leaving too?" Brandt crossed the room and kicked the chair where
Brennan was now sitting. Brennan looked up from his phone for just a moment.
"Dude, I don't have anything better to do, not until like, nine."
A drink. That's what Brandt wanted, something stiff, something that made him
grimace until his teeth numbed and his cheeks became waxy with perspiration.
It was going to be a while, though, before he got that drink. He could just
tell.
Brandt sat on the edge of Naomi's bed and began poking her to see if she
would stir. She lay as still as ever, eyes closed, her dark hair framing her
face. He sighed, and poked her one more time for good measure. He had seen a
movie once on a women's channel, and a doctor had said it was a good idea to
talk to coma patients, give them something to live for. Brennan was still
staring at his phone, his fingers moving furiously every minute or so. It
would be awkward, Brandt decided, to talk to his irrevocably comatose sister
while someone else was in the room, so he reached for the remote and turned
on the television and started watching Sports Center and hoped Naomi didn't
have to stay in limbo listening to sports statistics and color commentary.
As he stared at the screen, Brandt kept trying to find the words to say to
his sister. He kept trying to feel some essence of her still sparking
beneath her skin and bones. They were twins, after all. They were supposed
to be intimately connected. Or at least, that's what everyone around them
expected. Brandt couldn't quite say if he felt that intimate thing with
Naomi but he was the only one who would stay with her, he knew that much.
Eventually, Brennan left. He had to meet a guy, not his boyfriend, about a
thing, nothing his boyfriend need know about. Alone with Naomi, Brandt
marveled, once more, at how still she was, and how strange the stillness
cocooning her was. He stood, his knees cracking, and crawled into bed with
Naomi, stretching his body along hers. She was warm which meant she was
alive even if her brain wasn't. Brandt closed his eyes, slowed his breathing
to match hers, covered her hand with his. If he tried hard enough, he
thought, he might slip away, and join Naomi wherever she was and maybe, when
he found her there, he would feel something.
Roxane Gay's writing has appeared in Best American Short Stories, Best American Mystery Stories,
Best Sex Writing and many others. Her most recent book is the New York Times bestselling
memoir HUNGER.
Read Abagail Guinn's and Hannah Kauffman's 2½ Questions interview with Roxane.
W i g l e a f
12-08-18
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