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My Cold and Its Cure
Molly Laich
Tyson brings this other guy with him when he picks me up for our date.
The other guy is sitting in the backseat drinking PBR's out of a 12
pack one after the other, like someone eating popcorn.
"I hope you don't mind if Daniel comes along with us," Tyson says, but
it's already done, so what would it matter if I minded? The deal is
that Daniel is suicidal. It will be good for him to get out of the city
in the fresh air, with friends. Tyson tells me all this as though the
patient isn't sitting right there. I think this is just his style.
We're going way the fuck out of town to this saloon-style bar that is
also a hotel. They tell me that interesting things have happened there.
I'm Meghan, and this is mine and Tyson's third time out.
Daniel doesn't seem so sad, and I tell him so. He's got a patchy half
beard and unblinking, unmoving features, like he has a concussion maybe
and he's tired. "I have addictions," he says. "I've slept with over a
thousand women."
"You must stay up very late," I tell him. I think I'm funny but no one
laughs.
He looks out the window at pine trees blurring past. "It doesn't make
me happy."
I tell them all about my cold and its cure. I took 5,000mg of Vitamin C
and drank three glasses of vegetable juice, plus a shitload of hot tea
with honey and lemon, and I used the Nettie pot about 20 goddamn times.
"What's a Nettie pot?" Tyson wants to know.
"It's like this thing. It's for irrigating the sinuses. Mine is made of
porcelain but they make other kinds. It looks like a genie's lamp."
"I've made a woman believe I was a genie," Daniel says.
"Really?" Tyson says.
And Daniel looks at me now from the back seat. He sort of winks without
actually winking and I understand the challenges ahead and feel
exhilarated.
At the hotel bar when everyone is drunk and Tyson has his back to us at
the jukebox, Daniel reaches under the table and puts his hand between
my legs and it's expert. "I have a cure for your cold," he says. I'm
prepared for him to say something stupid like, "my cock," or "my
semen," but he says, "love."
"What about Tyson?" I ask, although I'd have done things with Daniel if
he'd answered, "my semen" or "my cock" because I was still seduced from
before.
After a night of stolen looks and placating the other one, we are back
in our room, the one big room for 50 dollars we're splitting three
ways. Tyson falls into a loud snore, but not before whispering, "Sorry
we can't fuck. I forgot about Daniel being here."
"Come sit on my lap," Daniel says in the dark. He's in the corner and
the light from outside gives him a silver lining. Otherwise he is all
black. Daniel is cut out of felt and I go sit on him, expecting the lap
to be fuzzy, two-dimensional.
There's just a hard on there. There's no magic. I thought I drank a lot
but I wish then I'd had a lot more. He puts his hands in my hair and
his eyes look like blinking buttons in the center, except for the
terrible white that surrounds them. Still I'm smitten by the dry, quiet
joke about genies and I still hate Tyson for not getting it.
He touches my hair and breathes loudly. "Shh," I plead, but Tyson's
snoring only gets louder. Daniel breaks open the front of his pants
like they're Velcro and there it is. I think: a sword, a carrot. I make
my face an exclamation and do my best.
But my cold makes it difficult. My eyes water and I can't breathe. He
pushes down on my head harder and I gag and choke a little until I see
colored balloon animals floating in my vision. In the drunk of it I
don't panic; I feel like I'll be able to breathe any second now. I
cough and bite down. He pulls my hair back, slaps me and then pushes me
down on it again. "That's it," he says, tenderly. I don't know if I'm
being raped or not. If I choose to be okay with it I'm not one of those
girls with naïve notions of "I'm going to change him." If I'm
cool with this, I'm liberated. It would be better if I could breathe
through my nose and he didn't have large, snarled hands on my head.
I notice that Tyson isn't snoring. "Meghan," he says, as clear as a
bell. Daniel takes his hands away and I turn around to see him sitting
up in bed, staring at nothing. Tyson doesn't say anything else. I have
a thought about miscalculation that I can't put my finger on. I just
know that I've done it.
And I know now about the interesting things that have happened in this
hotel, are happening still, and have yet to happen, and how much it will
mean later when my head is clear and I can think about it, and how
often and sad and all the things I should have done differently but
didn't.
Molly Laich has stories in or coming from Meridian, PANK, NANO Ficiton, Monkeybicycle
and others.
Detail of photo on main page courtesy
of Brett Lider.
w i g · l e a F
08-23-11
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