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Husbands and Animal Husbandry
Dan Piepenbring
A husband will occasionally find need for an animal, and will raise it.
From this, our world derives its goatherds and cowhands, but the allure
is sometimes stronger, and a husband must domesticate another animal to
slake his thirst for husbandry. For reasons beyond the province of this
text, falcons are among the best animals husbands can raise. Most
falconers are also husbands, and many husbands double as falconers.
When a new falcon is jessed and tethered to the glove, she should be
offered small pieces of food.
It is common for a husband to outlive his falcon, but there are of
course cases in which the falcon outlives the husband, particularly
when the husband turns to falconry later in life. There are exceedingly
rare instances wherein the falcon is the agent of the husband's death,
and in these cases, too, the falcon outlives the husband.
Advice for wives: if your husband, or any husband, solicits your
opinion on falconry, do not answer honestly. The husband likely holds
strong opinions about falconry and hopes to bait you for the sake of
argument. With a simple tilt of the head, proffer a distant smile and
change the subject to other matters of the home. The husband may
thereafter request that you wear the falcon's lure as jewelry. Do not
do this. The husband, in such cases, wishes to have his falcon kill you.
Dan Piepenbring lives in New York, where he works as an editorial
assistant at Farrar, Straus and Giroux and an editor at The Hotel St.
George Press. He has stories in or
coming from The American Scholar, Significant Objects,
PANK, The Pinch and others.
To link to this story directly: http://wigleaf.com/201010husbands.htm
Detail of photo on main page courtesy
of ViaMoi.
w i g · l e a F
10-08-10
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