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A History of Heart Disease
Amber Sparks
Glen's father dies in a Burger King. Glen is only five and he has to
watch his father's big hands fumbling at his necktie, then pushing over
paper cups, plastic straws, finally even people on his way to the
floor. Since Glen is only five, he laughs at first because he thinks
his father is clowning, is joking around with him like he always
does. He laughs and laughs until a fat lady in purple stretch
pants leans over his father and starts screaming.
When Glen is thirty he is handsome and married, with a little girl and
a Golden Retriever named Betsy. He teaches high school kids about rocks
and soil. His wife likes to tell him that his head is full of rocks,
which is more or less true.
Glen and his wife are having what they refer to as 'marital problems.'
She has gained seventy pounds in the last three years. Seventy pounds!
Glen cannot understand it. He knows he's an asshole, but Glen hates the
way his body sinks into hers, how her new stomach is soft and unformed.
He feels like he's screwing the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Glen was an athlete in school. He was golden and fast, and everyone
wanted to be him or be with him. He still runs every morning and now he
coaches the high school track team. His wife refers to him as "Jock,"
or sometimes "the Jock." He is never sure if this is a compliment or
not.
One day after track practice, he is teaching a girl named Jenny the
right way to wrap a sprain and the phone rings. It is his wife.
"Glen," she says, "your mother's dead."
"When?" he says. "How?"
"Just a few hours ago," she tells him, "at the Wal-Mart over in
Westchester."
"Not where," says Glen, "how?"
"Oh, sorry—heart attack—she was buying paper
towels, I guess. Or at least, that was the only thing in her cart."
Glen is prepared for this. He has been prepared a long time, ever since
his father died. He doesn't laugh. He doesn't disbelieve. He sighs and
sends Jenny home and picks his daughter up from daycare.
"Grandma's heart wasn't very strong," he tells her. "It was a
good heart, but it wasn't very strong."
His daughter is three and solemn as a poet. She nods, though she
doesn't understand. She watches cartoons and always equates good with
strong. She doesn't have the capacity to undo metaphors. Glen should
really know better, but then Glen has never really been good with
children. He's better with dogs. He's better with rocks.
It's probably a good thing, then, that eventually Glen's wife and
daughter leave him, after he is caught with Jenny in the teacher's
lounge. Glen could blame his idiocy on his fear of getting old, of
growing up and dying young. It's what people do in the Tyler family.
But he doesn't blame anyone except himself. His wife and the judge
blame him, too.
Glen gets fired and divorced and charged and convicted. He has to pay a
lot of money and spend half the year at a workhouse. Then he goes to
live with his brother Peter in San Antonio. He has to leave the Golden
Retriever behind, and his small daughter is unwilling to speak to
him—at least, that's what his wife says. Ex-wife says.
Peter is married to a woman named Nanette. Nan is right out of a novel,
dressed in peasant skirts and stilettos with teased, Texas-sized hair.
She smokes long, thin cigarettes and is always rolling her eyes at
everything Peter says. But she's pretty and small and Glen lies
awake at night and listens to her squealing "Ooh, Peter, ooh, Peter,"
while the bedposts scrape and thump against the floor.
Peter is a teacher, too. Nan works from home; she makes jewelry and
sells it online. Beaded turquoise stuff that Glen's wife would call
'tacky.' He likes the way it lies cool against Nan's warm
brown skin, swinging away from her collarbone as she navigates the
listings and helps Glen try to find a job. It's difficult enough to
find work these days, never mind the felony conviction on his
record.
Then there's a day when the phone rings; it's the school, for Nan.
Peter's had a heart attack. They've taken him to the hospital, and Nan
drives Glen there, fast. She is a terrific driver, like an FBI agent in
a movie car chase scene.
Glen watches Nan cry onto Peter's hospital gown. "I told him to drink
more wine, the stupid fool," she wails. "Red wine is good for the
heart, that's what I told him."
At the funeral several people ask where Peter's parents are. Glen tells
them he is the only one left. Glen's ex-wife is at the funeral, too,
with his daughter. He hugs his daughter tight and sits her on his lap;
and while her mother glares at him, she allows the little girl to stay
there throughout the service. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't Peter,"
his ex-wife keeps saying. "Peter was a much better person than you."
Nan wears a black lace skirt, like a widow in a Western, and she cries
into a handkerchief and everything. Without her, the service would have
no dignity at all. The priest speaks in a dry Texan drawl,
and Peter's students chew gum and flap their programs and talk in
whispers that bounce off the church walls.
His daughter puts her little hand in his sweaty palm. Glen lets it lie
there, limp, until Nan reaches over and closes his hand around the
child's. She smiles at him around the handkerchief, and smears her
mascara with the back of her other hand. Glen feels the warmth of his
daughter's hand, like a damp little bird, feels the life ticking and
nudging against his own.
Amber Sparks has stories in or coming from New York Tyrant, The Collagist, matchbook, Necessary Fiction, Annalemma
and others.
To link to this story directly: http://wigleaf.com/201001history.htm
Detail of illustration on main page courtesy
of r8r.
w i g · l e a F
01-27-10
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