Dear Wigleaf,

We live in a cabin, in the woods, on a mountain. 

There is a bat that hangs above the door to my study. At night, I spray the rafters with tea tree oil to ward him off but he always comes back after a few days.

At least once a week, I walk a hundred yards to free a goat from the perimeter fencing. The goat is white with black spots on his face. He cannot keep his head out of the fencing.

The first day we moved into our house, we had to pull a dead deer out of the pond out back. Hip deep in freezing water, I pulled the deer towards the bank, my wife waiting for me on dry land. A few feet before I reached the edge of the water, the deer's leg came off in my hand. We wrapped it in a tarp and drove it out of town.

When the cows get loose, we wake up to find them standing in our front yard, rubbing their bodies against the corners of our house. The dogs go crazy and paw at the windows. We eat our oatmeal before we do a thing about it.

We named our son Fodder-wing. He has a psychic link with all animals. He will name your pet for a fee.

Come see us when you get a chance.