Larry and Susan are sitting arms folded at opposite ends of the couch when their elderly neighbor knocks at the door. She is holding a measuring cup and asks if they have some flour for an apple cake she is making. Susan takes the cup, sifts the flour, taking care not to leave air pockets. Larry makes terse conversation with their neighbor at the front door, his fingers tightening reflexively against the knob whenever she leans forward to speak. Weeks later, their neighbor slips while getting out of the shower and dies. Susan will discover her when she checks on her three days later, having noticed the smell.

*

Larry and Susan are full of casserole from their neighbor's funeral when Susan's father knocks at the door. He is holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing the same belt he used to beat her mother with—the one with the brass buckle in the shape of a gape-mouthed bass. Larry, not knowing its history, shakes the hand of his father-in-law and asks if he would like to come inside. Susan is left with the flowers, which she takes to the sink. As she begins to cut the stems on a bias, she is suddenly achy from the loss of her neighbor, who often reminded Susan of her mother. She flinches when she hears laughter ricochet from the other room.

*

Larry and Susan are about to discuss the gape-mouthed bass when all of Larry's exes knock at the door. Larry is equal parts horrified and aroused. Susan tries to mask her surprise that all of these beautiful and vibrant women had at some point in their lives slept with Larry. Ever the hostess, she invites them in and sets out what she can find in the fridge—crudité, onion dip, a mountain of tater tots, and an apple cake, which Susan now makes in her neighbor's memory. By the end of a night of laughter at his expense, Larry grows sullen. After they leave, Susan asks what is bothering him prompting Larry to take what's left of the apple cake and throw it against the wall.

*

Larry and Susan are getting into the rage issue when their unborn son knocks at the door. Susan observes that the child is very cute, curly hair, cheeks like two apple cakes. He is a good mix of the both of them, Susan's upper lip (a cupid's bow) and Larry's lower (a pout). Larry thinks he looks like a friend who had once slighted him. They spend all day keeping the child alive. When he finally leaves, they both collapse on the couch, one somewhat sad, one somewhat relieved.

*

Larry and Susan are talking about their future when the ghost of their dead neighbor knocks at the door. She looks somewhat disheveled from the fall that killed her but she no longer carries the smell. She presents Susan with an apple cake as a token of appreciation for discovering her dead body and allowing her soul to pass on. Susan is happy to see her neighbor once again. She embraces her ghostly form and intends to ask her about the recipe she can't get quite right since her passing. Larry wonders why the hell Susan keeps standing at the front door when no one is there and turns the lights off on them when he exits the room.

*

Larry and Susan are arguing about hauntings when nothing knocks at the door. With no interruptions, they scream well into the evening. Larry calls Susan a bunch of names. Susan calls him just one, but that one is enough.

The next morning, a wind rattles the branches of the tree by the entranceway, making the staccato sound of fingernails tapping at the door. Larry gets up to answer, intent on ripping it from its hinges. Susan leaves out the back while Larry is otherwise preoccupied.


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