1.   

Story set in a world where "protagonists" are pros, and cost money to hire. Whenever a protagonist goes on strike, they are replaced with an amateur-tagonist, a character willing to work for the exposure alone—which messes with the economics of story in all kinds of ways that are troubling for writer, and reader, alike.

2.   

Story in which a bartender invents a cocktail allowing drinkers to see into the future with such terrifying detail that the only way to endure the nightmare is to drink more of it—leading to more premonitory knowledge, and further nightmares. The bartender, who had foreseen this outcome during her experiments with mixology, is too drunk, and too rich, to care about the long-term effects.

3.  

Story in which three stories walk into a bar and try to top each other with jokes. The jokes start out mildly amusing, but quickly become less funny, until one of the stories begins reading from Crime and Punishment instead. The moment the story begins, everyone in the bar immediately doubles over in hysterical laughter—and not a single soul notices when the second story stabs the third story to death.

4.   

Story in which love affairs are broadcast in real time in a London bookmaker's, and punters in tobacco-saturated seersucker make prop bets on how long the relationships will last. While spending nights staking their paychecks on the romantic fortunes of strangers, bettors place their own already tenuous relationships at risk—creating new wagering opportunities for other players, who are more than happy to profit from a fellow gambler's heartbreak.

5.   

Story in which an asteroid belt goes on sale at Banana Republic. A heavyset man buys it for $49.95, and it gives him this super-confidence that changes his luck with women forever—but the belt becomes a crutch, because eventually, the women will ask him to remove it, which he is terrified to do because he knows his confidence will instantly disappear. So the man turns it into a kink—leaving the belt on even with his clothes off—and mostly, this works for him. Somehow, this style becomes a trend, and billboards featuring the man's bare, belted belly begin appearing all across the universe.

6.   

Story in which a bicycle rides a man to work each day—no one has the heart to tell either of them they've got it wrong. Some find inspiration in this: why should anyone, or anything, be limited to its predetermined function? The bicycle and man unwittingly become symbols of a new movement around function rejection—until the man, who had apparently been very sheltered and had simply never seen anyone ride a bike—reverted, disappointingly, to convention.

7.   

Story in which an artist paints a picture of the moon. The next night, the moon has disappeared, and the painter is placed on trial for stealing the moon and entrapping it inside a canvas—which, the artist's lawyer argues, isn't actually a thing. But this is happening within a culture ascribing broad powers to art, so the painter is convicted, and spends her life behind bars re-painting the moon, over and over again. In Heaven, she's given a small apartment, and when the artist opens the broom closet looking for a mop, the moon falls out, full sized and bright, but also curiously flat and lifeless, like a giant, crater-pocked coin.

8.   

Story in which two people live the exact same life without knowing it (same job, same birthday, even the same spouse) They meet, but the coincidence fails to register as an astonishment. Even the spouse part doesn't rile them much, since both were planning on leaving her soon, suspecting her of being involved with someone else. After the two go their separate ways, it turns out to be the same way, and they keep bumping into one another, until eventually, they fuseinto the same person: for the rest of their merged existence, they can agree on exactly nothing.

9.   

Story (the 9th) which takes place on the 9th story of a high rise, and involves a man obsessed with the number 9: posters of the 9 Supreme Court justices on his wall, diorama of 9 planets in his den. He's taught himself to juggle 9 balls in the same park where he met all of his 9 girlfriends. He speaks 9 languages, and even writes stories in bunches of 9. Eventually the pressure of nining everything gets to him, so he goes out to his balcony, closes his eyes, counts down 9,8.7,6... and jumps, only to realize he doesn't actually have 9 lives—and now the writer will have to invest in a new protagonist, if he can still afford one.

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