My boyfriend's name is Gotlieb. This is not a joke, as I've had to reassure my parents. When he comes over to my place, he drives with his Pomeranian so high in his lap it looks like Georgie himself is driving his Buick.

I like Gotlieb because he's a good guy who brought all his obscene proclivities out and spread them before me on the metaphorical table before we started doing this thing for real.

My ex-boyfriend's name was Arthur. He went to this dive bar every Tuesday with his coworkers and came home reeking of cigarettes. When I asked him if he smoked he said no.

His car smelled like cigarettes always, not just Tuesday nights. That kind of shit can drive you insane.

Gotlieb is a chain smoker. That I know for a fact.