movie night: a postmodern romance
Robbie Maakestad

                                                            about a month ago or perhaps longer       ashley and i decided to watch a movie       or maybe it was ashley who       wanted to watch the       movie       or maybe i was the one who said       hey let's watch a movie because       ashley usually prefers to       play games rather than       watching movies

                                           one of us said hey let's watch a movie       but it was most likely me who said this so       i will go with that from here       what movie should we watch i asked       i do not care she said        any one is fine with me       ashley tends to suffer from a disease       which is a rather serious one as it keeps her from making       decisions        especially when they are meaningless everyday decisions       with little       to no impact on anyone       for instance at dinner she often cannot       choose what she will drink       water or lemonade i say and she asks what are you drinking      which really does not matter       except that she will base her        decision completely on mine to avoid deciding       for herself       however if faced       with a choice that will       have a large impact on her       life she can decide        because there is usually       an option that is obviously better       but when faced with a simple       choice it       is difficult for her to choose        sometimes i get frustrated but       i try not to let it show

                                                 honey how about you pick tonight because i am       busy       trying to beat this angry birds level on your       ipad and        it is impossible       it is amazing how dysfunctional a person becomes when an electronic game gets the better of them over and over       and over        and over          and over

                               you should check the television to see if there are        any good movies recorded i suggested       she turned on       the television and scrolled through the       options it was a good thing she was the one        trying to do this because even though i am twenty       seven and fairly literate       when it comes to technology        i still have not figured out how to       record shows or use the       various menus on televisions       this is not because i am dumb       or because       i have a technological learning disability but because       i hate television and have       chosen not to learn        it is a waste of time in my opinion unless i am in the mood       to watch sports       which is not often because       tv is a waste of time       but you watch netflix        ashley will say       and then i say       that is true       but netflix is not tv because there are no       commercials and she has yet       to come up       with a response to that because on tv there are       commercials       but not on netflix and she agrees       that commercials are nothing but a waste of time

                                              we could watch taken she said       that will give you nightmares i replied       it is about a girl who gets kidnapped       ashley       tends to have crazy       dreams when she sees movies like that       yeah probably not a good one then ashley said       how about firelight because you love cuba gooding jr       i do not think i have        ever said that i love cuba gooding jr i said       as i watched my final little red bird slingshot into       a wall of pixelated cinderblock       knocking some pigs       but not all of them to the ground       where they popped or evaporated or whatever       it is they do to give me points       i know that i have never said that i love cuba gooding jr because       i do not even know who       cuba gooding       jr is       and i could not pick him out       of a lineup for $1,000,000       ashley showed me a picture and i sort of recognized him       i thought you told me that you loved cuba       ashley said       i do not think so i said       because even though you showed me       a picture       i only sort of recognized him

                                                   ashley said well you told me you like       some actor       i said that is probably true       well what about american gangster she asked       dang it i said why do they make these levels so       challenging       i keep shooting my last red bird in the only possible place       for me to knock all the cinderblocks down       but it never works       what about american gangster ashley asked       that is the movie with denzel washington right i       asked       yes she said       i am pretty sure that is super violent so you might not like it       even        though denzel washington is an actor       who i very much like       you probably confused something i once said about him with       what you thought i said about cuba gooding jr       okay        she said       well how about maid in manhattan she asked       YES i did it       i got three stars on       that freaking level of angry birds i said       that is great honey she said hugging me       sorry i said        which       movie were you wondering about       maid in manhattan she said       what is it       about i asked       "jennifer lopez stars as a maid who falls       for an upstart politician       will       her feelings ruin his campaign?" she read       sure we could watch that one i said because i       know that she likes chick flicks       and sometimes i am sacrificial like that       it will be a good one she said       then she snuggled up next to me       and pressed play

Robbie Maakestad received his MFA at George Mason University and is the Assistant Features Editor for The Rumpus. He's had work in Essay Daily, The MacGuffin and others.

Read his postcard.

Detail of photo on main page courtesy of Scott Beale.

W i g l e a f               12-07-17                                [home]