Dear Wigleaf,

Sorry it took us so long to get back to you. We were busy fucking. In the woods. (Don't worry, we brought a blanket!) Anyway, it wasn't till after that we noticed a beaver watching us—it seemed like he'd seen the whole thing. We noted the irony.

The point is, you would love it up here. In these woods, nobody's even heard of the Internet. Every night, the huntswomen howl like monkeys from the treetops. Each morning brings with it the curious scent of a favorite sweater. There's really no reason to wear pants anymore.

Nakedly yours,

Madeline & Miles

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Read MG & MK's story.

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