A week ago, my neighbor won the lottery and now he's tearing down the neighborhood. The Pedersen's place has been demolished, and a bulldozer is on its way to the Melhorne's house. My mother has asked that I use this space to tell you. Her hope is that the New York Times will find my letter and send someone to help us. I don't think it will work. The policemen have been paid to leave, and I know that is a bad sign. Also, one of the Pedersen kids stayed inside to play video games while his house got bulldozed. His bones are being used to build a moat around our town. In case you're wondering, my neighbor's name is Joe Callonopolus. He goes by Jim Calhoun, but that's because Joe Callonopolus is wanted in 49 states plus Lesotho, and no one has been able to find him. I'm starting to think this is the same Joe Callonopolus. My mother's favorite New York Times employee is Will Shortz, so if he's available, she'd prefer it if you sent him.
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