Dear Wigleaf,

Greetings from scenic Brooklyn! Today people are filming a movie in the coffee shop on my street. I think one of the actors is that guy from the American Pie movies who played a smooth-talking old soul and does it with a mom. I'm picturing a glass of scotch and a pool table. Well you know I just had to walk by with my surest strut while wearing my signature poncho, smizing and pruning and tooching like a reality contestant at all the people wearing fleece mock turtlenecks, the kind with the zipper that only goes down the neck. Made me think of you and that time you Googled me and came up with nothing.

Your friend,


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