Dear Wigleaf,

My hair is starting to grow again after a distressing period where I thought I might go bald which would have been so terrible because I don't know what my head looks like beneath my hair. I wish there was a way to temporarily remove all my hair so I could study my scalp and whatever is going on there—an exploratory haircut, if you will—and when the exploration was over, I would want my hair to magically reappear. I also wish I could grow and cut my hair at will, like if one day I felt like long hair it would be great to have long hair and if the next day I didn't want hair on my neck, I could cut my hair, have my neck free, and still have the option to regrow my hair again at a later date. I know you're thinking, "That exists. It is called a wig." I'm saying, I want this magical hair, without the burden of a wig. The thing about wigs is that when a man pulls on a wig, it flies right off.


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Read RG's "Apocalypse Story."

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