The sky was navy blue and I wanted to wrap myself in it and never see yellow or white again, but I bought a Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake ice cream instead and came home to yellow light and white walls. There were things on TV but I texted this guy and told him about buying $15 of candy and ice cream. Five dollars of it was a sandwich, so I texted him again and told him I bought ten dollars worth of junk and asked if he remembered how good those Strawberry Shortcakes were.

I'm pretty sure he remembers, but this guy won't give me anything, even a yes. If I told him about the navy blue sky, he would say something like guys in the navy are homos. I'm doing this new thing where I agree with everything he says. It irritates the shit out of him.

He's not like a guy guy anyways. He's my brother. My stepbrother. His name is Boone, which is gayer than the navy, I tell him. He tells me I should eat five more Strawberry Shortcakes so I can attract a guy who likes fatties. My mother did a bad thing.

It's stupid to text him when he's in the same room, but he has this lame cell phone plan where he has to pay like fifty cents for every text he makes or gets. When he doesn't answer, I send him texts one word at a time.

Good

Humor

Strawberry

Shortcakes

Make

Me

Even

Cuter

If

That's

Even

Possible.