Full disclosure: the piece you accepted is not my work. It's
plagiarized, but plagiarized for a reason. Truthfully, I did write it,
but that may be cheating because I'm saying I didn't to start the next
big fiction movement. I'm calling it Feigned Fiction. The point is not
whether the writing is good, but how much of a sensation the writer can
cause. All I have to do is say that Barbara Cartland wrote it, and
we'll be good to go.
Magazine editors will soon flood my mailbox with solicitations because
of the association between Cartland's name and my own and the number of
hits my name will generate. Reporters will cleave themselves to
editors' doorknobs demanding more of my work so they'll have a scandal
to follow. Unscheduled window washers will appear outside your co-op,
suction cupped, dangling from the roof, wearing subliminal messages
attesting to my literary prowess. No one will know whether I write the
stories or not. By taking my fiction, you've become the recipient of my
first foray into this new school. The article explaining my
unparalleled genius will be written up in Wikipedia with our likenesses
No need to thank me.
- - -
Read BZ's "Graveyard."
w i g · l e a F