I trust you're well. You certainly look it, what with all that
bedazzled denim you keep wearing in your constantly-updated Facebook
I'm writing you today to solicit a referral: I need the name of a
reputable crossbow retailer in the greater Pigeon Forge, TN area, and
quick. My wife and I are on the hunt for an identity thief
whose last known whereabouts were just north of the Great Smoky
Mountains, and I'm afraid conventional weaponry just isn't going to cut
it this time.
And, if you're thinking about the Dick's Sporting Goods off of Route
73, don't bother.
I've called ahead and their selection is abysmal.
Many advance thanks,