Dear Wigleaf,

As you know, I don't know Hindi or listen to Hindi music especially Bollywood music because like all cool people I laugh at Bollywood and say hahaha Bollywood, you are so shiny and silly and I laugh at you. Anyway I was listening to this Bollywood song and thinking what are they saying anyway and this girl kept singing the word saala. And T was there — you remember him, yes? So I said hey saala to him, very sexylike but in a fun sort of way, you know? I thought he would appreciate it because he's from Mumbai or something like that. Anyway he said don't call me that and I said saalasaaalasaala and he said stop it I don't like it, ok?

Then he said you were listening to that song weren't you. And I said no. And he said admit it, you were listening to Hindi music and I said M.I.A., ok? I was listening to M.I.A. all I want to do is bang bang bang bang and click ka ching and take your money, saala. How many tequilas in the place? How many beers are in the case? Count and tell me saala. And he said don't call me saala, I told you I don't like it. And I said stop acting like a girl and he said he was going for a walk.

Do you know what the Hindi word for 'walk' is? I bet you don't.

I don't either.


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Photo detail on main page courtesy of Smabs Sputzer.

Read KM's story, "How to Wear an Indian Village."

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