Dear Wigleaf,

Unfortunately, slept with Eli again but at least I know why: If I think back over the week I had toast on Monday, pizza on Tuesday, a huge subway sandwich on Thursday, bread roll and a Danish on Friday for lunch, and then pizza again last night! It's no wonder. Sunday, I wanted the slap of Eli's thighs to calm my carb attack. He wanted the same. Nancy (his wife) at her weekly Texas Holdem group, the skinny bitch drinking de-caf and laughing. Eli stuck home with beer and the grandkid's Nintendo Wii for company, hoping I'd call so he wouldn't gorge on sourdough pretzels. After only one ring he picked up, drove here quick as text. Naturally, I am hoping that using the elliptical machine at the gym twice a week and being somewhat "coy" next time with Eli will mean that I won't store as much water as usual near the holidays, (bread products and sex make me retain water like a sponge). And with that perhaps I will have lost the desire to ruin anyone else's life.

So the plan is to lay off sex a little, eat a lot less bread and pizza! Avoid the bowling alley, boycott the pasta isle at Safeway, and stop snacking altogether! I think I will post a sin diary this week so I can pay attention to what I'm doing, try and have vegetable soups for lunch, volunteer at St. Steven's home for the aged, download songs of real French nuns, singing.



P.S. — I hear that a great new book called Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? is a must for anyone who wants to end the domino effect.

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Read MP's story, "Pounds across America — 1990."

w i g · l e a F               11-07-08                                [home]